A haunting love

I don't know why this news story touched me, but it did.

I've re-written it the best I can.

**Please scroll past this post to avoid mentions of suicide**

On the 21st of January 2017 a brokenhearted teenager knelt down in her rented apartment and hanged herself with a bathroom towel.

She had recently broken up with her boyfriend and couldn’t take being without him. 

Before she committed suicide, she wrote three letters; one to her landlord, apologizing for what she had done, one to her family, and finally one to her ex-boyfriend vowing to haunt him if he did not complete a series of requests.

When she was found, she was wearing a white T shirt with a photograph of herself and her boyfriend printed on the front. In a letter to him, she instructed the young man to show up to her funeral, which would be held in her home, and provided the address and the phone number of a family member.

She had left behind a black T-Shirt matching the one she was found in, and told him that he must sleep in her home on at least the first and last day of the mourning period wearing the shirt- if he neglected to do so, she promised to haunt him day and night for the rest of his life.

The letter read (translated to the best of my abilities)

Mai (boyfriend’s name),

I bet you never thought I’d do something like this, right?

If I keep on living I feel like I’m suffering inside, being this way. It didn’t feel this way before. I love you so much; no one could ever take your place.

 I can’t live without you. By the way, I’m already dead. Now you have to do what I want you to do- If you don’t do what I want you to do, I will haunt you day and night. You have to attend my funeral at my home and the first night you have to wear this black T-shirt that I’ve screened for you.

You also have to sleep at my home on the first and last night. Each night you choose to stay, you must wear the shirt.

090XXXXXXX this is my grandmothers number to locate my house. People in my house call me “Sai” not “Bee” I’m so sorry that I’ve done something like this.

But I can’t live like this.

Thanks for the time we spent together; it showed me how much I loved you. I was happy every moment with you. I love you so much…

Hungarian suicide song:

Today marks the anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s suicide – or murder, according to conspiracy theorists. 

The stories and movies and documentaries about Mr.Cobain have been done to death, so in order to tip my hat while letting the guy be, I’ve decided to write about another cursed composer; the late Rezső Seress

The case of the Hungarian suicide song.

“I’m to be a songwriter or a hobo” Rezső Seress responded, in retaliation to the constant stream of arguments about his failed songwriting career between himself and his fiancé.

Seress, a Hungarian songwriter, was living in Paris at the time. It was 1932 and so far his attempts to become internationally famous composer had failed miserably.

His blind ambition coupled with his evident lack of success was putting a strain on his relationship. His partner, uncomfortable with his lack of financial stability was pressuring him into getting a 9- 5 job. Seress, unable to give up chasing his dream refused to compromise, and the two separated on bad terms.

The next day, on a particularly gloomy Sunday, Seress sat at his piano, where he his fingers spelled out a morose melody just as hopeless and depressing as he felt on the inside.
He called it  "Vége a világnak”: The end of the world.

The original lyrics were about the tragedy of war and the evil of man. However later, a poet named László Jávor wrote his own lyrics about a man committing suicide following the death of his lover. The lyrics were inspired by a recent break-up with his girlfriend.


"On a sad Sunday with a hundred white flowers,
I was waiting for you, my dear, with a church prayer,
That dream-chasing Sunday morning,
The chariot of my sadness returned without you.
Ever since then, Sundays are always sad,
tears are my drink, and sorrow is my bread...
Sad Sunday.
Last Sunday, my dear, please come along,
There will even be priest, coffin, catafalque, hearse-cloth.
Even then flowers will be awaiting you, flowers and coffin.
Under blossoming (flowering in Hungarian) trees my journey shall be the last.
My eyes will be open, so that I can see you one more time,
Do not be afraid of my eyes as I am blessing you even in my death...
Last Sunday."

He sent his song to a record publisher, only to have it returned with a note of rejection explaining that the song had a “terrible compelling despair”.
Eventually another label picked it up and agreed to distribute it. The song took over the airwaves and Seress was finally a success.
However, his success came at a price.
A string of suicides followed the release of the song. People requested it and were later found dead by suicide; some with the sheet music or a copy of the record nearby.

Cited as an urban legend or myth, it’s not a stretch to believe that such a despairingly hopeless song in climate as miserable as 1930's Hungary could push people over the edge at a time of emotional vulnerability.

Radios eventually began to ban the depressing song, citing that it did nothing to alleviate the sadness of the social climate at the time, of which the morale had already been destroyed due to a great economic depression and the influence of fascism.

Seress attempted to reconnect with his ex-fiancé by way of letter, only to discover that devastatingly she had already committed suicide, with a copy of his record nearby.

Finally in 1968, Seress too committed suicide- He jumped from the window of his apartment but survived, only to succeed by choking himself to death with a wire whilst recovering in hospital.

So will you survive the suicide song this gloomy Sunday?

Here’s the original recording.